Eternally Single

Dear Astrology Room

I'm 36 years old. I had always thought by now I would be in a long-term relationship. I had always thought by now I would be in a long-term relationship. All my friends have been in relationships for years, yet I seem to struggle to even get started meeting someone.

I have nearly lost all faith I will ever meet someone. I have been single, apart from very short flings, for almost 6 years. I don't understand what the Universe has against me or why it has determined that I watch all my family and friends meet someone and settle down while I am left behind. Is the Universe ever going to bring me anyone into my life that I can give my love to? The pain of being lonely is becomming unbearable.

I have tried everything to put mysef out there but Im starting to believe that there is no-one there for me and i dont know how to cope with being alone much longer. Is there anything I'm doing wrong and/or can do better? I can't seem to find that special girl. I was born 2nd July 1975.

Cat

Dear Cat

I am sorry to hear that you feel so lonely and unloved, and I hope I can help you to understand why things appear so hopeless at the moment - in fact the lack of love in your life, is the actual outer manifestation of your fears and self-doubts, and that deep lack of self-love, is mostly the cause of your sense of aloneness. First off you're a Cancer, you need to belong. You need a home, a family, a tribe, a lover or a partner.  Right now the planets are waking you up to your need to belong, yet you look out from your 'Capricorn Ascendant' (a rather judgemental viewpoint of the world) and see only a bleak future, you see restrictions, people who don't care, don't love, won't give you much and who let you down; and you may have experienced this most of your life, (so the past confirms your opinion that the world is against you) and yet it is exactly this judgement which is innate in your character. It's what you 'expect' from the world/universe from the moment you were born, and if you expect it, the universe is sure going to give you what you're looking for.

You say you want to be loved, to find the right person. That you've struggled for six years, and you're frustrated and see only a wall of 'no, you can't have that, it's not your right' each time you look out through the chink of the cold, cautious armour of yourself. You also have moon/Jupiter conjunct in Aries in the second house. This can manifest in body issues - maybe you are not happy with your weight, your looks, your figure, your image, or whatever? The moon is also opposing Uranus - you are frustrated by your limitations, not just human ones, but frustrated when things don't go your way,  and the Aries bit of you wants it all now, but can't have it all now. Moon in Aries wants results, Moon in Aries wants to crusade for itself and prove that it deserves love just by virtue of being who you are, without having to make compromises, without having to make an effort. Moon in Aries is very sure that the world must revolve around itself, so when it doesn't, it hurts, and it hurts badly.  Six years seems a lifetime, time is running out. So the toys get thrown out of the pram and no-one comes to pick them up. This is another self-imposed barrier. Yet, you have bounteous love to give, you are a warrior for others, you are nurturing, kind, passionate, willing to give all of yourself, to take responsibility for love and duty, yet all you see and all you meet is negativity. It's not so much you're being left behind, rather that you unconsciously project negativity into the world and people around you, and so what you put out, you get back. The universe and you are one, it is not separate from you, do you understand?

There are planetary transits which aren't helping either right now, and I suggest you get in touch with me by phone for deeper insights about the the appropriate way forward, and how to get out of the trough you've found yourself in, and to find love this year. Yes, you will meet someone to love and who will love you back, but only when you stop looking for love in such desperation, and truly love yourself.

With all best wishes,

Sarah