Sarah Bartlett's 'Relationship Astrology'
Read this exclusive extract from my latest book on synastry, 'Relationship Astrology,' which describes how the planet Neptune can manifest in love relationships. This edited version discusses how the planet's elusive influence operates in your love life, and the romantic, deceptive and idealistic challenges which can occur in a relationship.
'Relationship Astrology' reveals how to create a special affinity chart to discover all about your compatibility and affinities with a love partner, and where you might be challenged, or need to work at your relationship. The book also helps you to understand whether you can expect long term love or merely a short fling.
You can buy Relationship Astrology here on Amazon
NEPTUNE IN THE AFFINITY CHART
Neptune is a hugely complex outer planet to deal with (or even get your head round!) simply because while we can be punched to the ground emotionally by Pluto and usually rise like a phoenix to live and love again, and while we can be shocked, reformed or radically changed by Uranus in our love life, Neptune’s influence is cryptic and deceptive. So when your Neptune contacts someone else’s personal planets (i.e. the sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars and to a certain extent the go-betweens, Jupiter and Saturn), there are going to be some pretty confusing and 'hidden' interactions going on. Neptune in mythology is not just the god of the oceans, but a ‘shape-shifting' god, and one who shapes himself into the guise of 'romantic reality' and fools us into thinking ‘this is for real.’ So when we are 'in Neptune' we are usually drowning helplessly in love. This is Neptune's curse. But what is his gift? If we can see beyond the illusion, we may discover a spiritual connection with another, and the realisation that we are at One with the magic of the universe.
Now if Neptune seduces, we would think it is the person with the personal planet who gets lost in the murky waters of Neptune’s world. But from my experience, the Neptune person (unless they have a conscious awareness of this archetype working in their love-life) deceives themselves as much as the other is deceived.
To help understand Neptune in your own chart, remember that he weaves a spell around you, he seduces you into believing that the perfect lover is out there, or the ideal relationship exists. He creates a fairy tale around you that resonates (cleverly) to your Neptune (the sign and house placement of your Neptune and any configurations to Neptune in your natal chart) yet which, ironically, is aligned to your soul’s purpose. Neptune's deeper, fundamental message is that one day you’ll understand the truth behind the fairy tale you are attempting to ‘live out’ through love - the underlying message being, ‘you are at one with the universe.’
Remember that Neptune is ultimately about freeing us from our apparent reality and the chains of the material world through our love relationships - unless we’re lucky enough to be in tune with our spiritual selves, or can channel Neptune through the arts. Neptune is often associated with escapism (both in love and in drugs) simply because through that escape we go beyond our ‘boundaries’ to a place that is boundless, where we glimpse our desire to return to the stars.
The good news is that if we see beyond the mists of our deceptive fairy tale, then Neptune allows us to truly know one another and accept the other for what they are. This is the ultimate form of trust in not only the other, but in the universe. Neptune allows us to see the beauty of the other, yes, but it is the beauty of the divine which reaches out to us through the other’s grace. So Neptune encourages us to surrender to that universal power, so that the ‘me over here’ and the ‘you out there’ are at one with the universe itself. Neptune teaches us that whatever affects us as individuals or as a couple, affects All.
Here’s some useful short guidelines to Neptune’s influence to get you working with this illusory character. Don’t forget, the Neptune person can be ‘woken up’ to their Neptunian ‘gift’ and simultaneously, their ‘curse.’ The other person, although they get caught up in the illusion, and if they become aware of this Neptunian magic, can either ‘break the curse or treasure the gift.’ These are often extremes of unconscious energy, and are usually tempered or modified by other factors in the affinity chart, but they will give you a glimpse of how Neptune can manifest, albeit abstrusely.
Her Neptune in Sagittarius square his moon in Virgo
This man needs to know exactly where he is at any moment of the day; his drawers are full of paired socks by colour, and he feels comfortable with a woman who looks perfectly gorgeous. Now when he meets the Neptune in Sagittarius woman she is anything less than perfect, but there’s something so boundless about her that he wants to contain her, hold her, show her how when you have a map in front of you, you know where you are. She needs to know, doesn’t she? But our Sagittarius Neptune lady longs to be free of all commitments and boundaries, she wants to run with the wolves, she romances the explorers and magicians of the world, and when she meets this precise, discriminating Virgo moon man, she will either run a mile or attempt seduce him into believing she is exactly what he needs. Because Neptune can drown the moon’s needs, a dangerous game could be played out here, depending on other contacts in the chart.
His Neptune in Capricorn conjunct her Venus in Capricorn
If Neptune lures us into believing, ‘this is for real,’ then the man with Neptune in Capricorn is seduced by class, beauty, money, and glamorous women. He also seduces with a crafted patience, skilled in the art of traditional courtship, knowing it is the right ‘disguise’ to wear to the romantic party. He can literally, lure his Venus in Capricorn date into believing, ‘this is for real’. After all, he wants it to be, and Venus in Capricorn does too. If he has other earth signs which can pull him away from his self-deception and he is truly capable of ‘making’ something of his life, then Venus in Capricorn will warm to his overtures.
Neptune and Venus contacts are more harmonious than most others, simply because Venus is happy to be seduced, and to give back what she can to make everyone happy. But Venus in Capricorn is a realist. She wants sensual delights, would like to have fun rolling on a bed of monopoly money (or real notes if she could) and has a very strong image of her capable and successful lover. Venus stirs his longings, in turn he stirs her desire for the skilled pleasures he’s acquired as if by magic. And if by magic they should have other supportive contacts, this may add a safety net to the glamorised ideals of this relationship.
Her Neptune in Libra conjunct his Mars in Libra
Now when the enchanting Neptune in Libra woman meets the ‘brute in the Armani suit’ she is fascinated, gullible herself, ready to fall into his arms as she looks into his beautiful eyes. If Neptune takes on the guise of the planet and elemental sign of that planet that triggers the contact, then in Libra it will charm the pants of anyone before they’ve had the chance to charm off the other’s. The Neptune in Libra generation is one that idealises love and romance, and attempts to make the dream a reality, much to its disillusionment, so it’s already a planetary archetype that has high expectations of love relationships. So this woman is jolted into her Neptune by a lusting Mars, and finds herself playing the role of ideal lover quite well. He too, seduced, lured and mesmerised ,has the spell cast over him. To begin with it is a gift, a splendid beautiful thing, but the archetype of Neptune dissolves desire (unknowingly) because its purpose is to return all to a numinous state. So eventually, they may both feel the other is never really there, and the distance grows between them. If they have other grounding or supportive contacts between them, this can lead to a more successful long-term relationship. But like any other Neptune contact, if one or the other begins to ‘feel’ they’ve been deceived by the other, then disillusionment and betrayal can outweigh compassion.
Equally, if you have a powerful Neptune in your own personal chart, (either by rising sign/DC; on the MC/IC; by double whammy contacts; configurations like moon in Pisces, Neptune in Cancer etc) then it's likely most of your relationships will be subject to what I have dubbed, 'Neptunian Nuptials'.
I hope you have enjoyed this short extract from my book, 'Relationship Astrology' and hope that it will tempt you (a Neptunian and Venusian thing indeed!) to read more, so that you can understand more about yourself and the mystery of relating.