Well, why shouldn’t you?
Then again, let’s be honest, most cultures do not embrace the notion of being happily single. There is a constant drive to be in a relationship. If you’re not in one you’re supposed to be looking to start one; if you are partnered up, you’re supposed to do everything to make it last.
This is particularly true for women. With this broad cultural backdrop of pressure, it’s hardly surprising then, how many of us struggle on some level when we find ourselves suddenly single.
Of course, your approach to singledom will be greatly determined by how you reached that state of being. If the end of a relationship was by mutual consent, or primarily your decision, will leave you in a very different headspace to that of someone who has had this new found independence hoisted upon them.
Whether it’s through divorce, separation from a long term relationship, or bereavement; whether it’s primarily your choice or not; finding yourself back in the single life can be daunting to say the least.
However, with a simple change in attitude and perspective, you could start to see the many opportunities that now wait you.
One of the most important gifts you can give yourself at this time is exactly that – time!
Give yourself the space to grow into your new identity, get used to new routines, new (or changed) responsibilities. Resist the pressure to rush head long into the dating scene (online or in person). Allow yourself to ask ‘do I really want to start looking for love again right now?’.
This is the perfect opportunity to take a step back and re-evaluate your life, your situation, your desires/needs, what you like/love/loath. What can you learn from your recent experiences?
It’s important to take pause; not immediately make rash, life changing decisions – a new haircut is one thing, moving job, city, country, continent is quite another!
There are so many quiet, little joys to explore now your time is your own. Perhaps you gave up your favourite hobbies, as many of us do, to be in a relationship. We often loose essential parts of ourselves as we strive to become an ‘us’. The opportunity to rediscover these parts of yourself, or even find new ones, is there to be taken.
It is not uncommon to come out of a long term relationship and find that you feel the loss of not only your lover, but also of friends. Mutual friendships may be affected as people struggle to maintain a neutral perspective. Friends often feel that they have to choose between you and your ex. If you have a strong network of friends and family around you then, great! Get out and about with them. Have some fun, enjoy not being beholden to anyone for where you go, what you do, when you come home of a night.
If you find yourself feeling a bit more isolated then, if you can, push yourself to join a local club – perhaps a running group or a dance class. The serotonin release from exercise will bring its own benefits, as you expose yourself to new people, to possible new friendships. Doing something creative, such as an art class, or anything out of your comfort zone, can seem scary. Ultimately, though, this usually proves far more satisfying and rewarding than sticking with what you know.
There are all the stereotypical benefits to being single too of course. Let’s not underestimate the joy in not having to share the remote control; eating desert for dinner if you want; going to see that film with that actor that your other half hated and scoffing all the popcorn by yourself! Not having to feel guilty for any of this and more. Bliss.
Taking this time to find yourself, enjoy who you are, and who you want to be, is a crucial step in learning to love being in your own skin. Look to yourself for inner satisfaction, to create the joy in your life, to build self belief. Not only will this leave you happier and stronger, it will mean you are less vulnerable to the changing whims of the opinions of those around you. Then, if and when, you choose to actively date, or you find yourself getting close to someone again, you will be in a much better place to go into any new relationship with a much more defined sense of self. This can only be a good thing – for you, and for any potential new partner.
As I said at the start, being comfortable being with ourselves alone is not a skill that many of us take the time to develop. We are actively discouraged from doing so. In fact, this is the most important relationship you will be in.
It’s time. Time to enjoy you, time to find you, and time to be who you really are and love it! Our live Astrologers and Psychic Readers are always here to help you rediscover yourself, give them a call